So Far To Fall

by Thomas M. Pender

I'm reaching way back now.  This was written in the fall of my sophomore year in college.  I had just had a really short relationship with a woman, and was in mourning over that, but also angry that she'd rather party than be with a more sober person.  There was a mess of emotions, and they all came out here.  I don't make it a habit to go back and edit how I felt in the past, or else I'd clean this one up a bit.  Still, I do like the mess of emotions here a bit.  It's honest.  Everyone feels a mess of emotions after breakups, don't they?

  

My memories

Up in the clouds

You’ll always shine in my eyes

But for now

I’ll leave you alone

Leave you to your cigarettes

Beer and hangovers

And I’ll wonder “what if”

When I’m bored

What a thing to do

What a risk to take

So far to fall

And yet, I’ve landed on my feet

No guilt

No hard feelings

No worry

And when I look back—

And I will—

I’ll smile

And when you look back—

If you do—

Remember the laughter

Not the tears

Remember the tender moments

Not the harshness

And may we both find our separate happinesses

written by t. michael pender  11/10/85

©1985 T. Michael Pender.  All rights reserved.

Someone Does

by Thomas M. Pender

 

If you’ve ever wanted someone to believe in you,
     someone does.

If you’ve ever wanted someone to miss you when you’re not around,
     someone does.

If you’ve ever wanted someone to fantasize about you,
     someone does.

If you’ve ever wanted someone to cry over you,
     someone has.

If you’ve ever wanted someone to feel you’re the most important person in his world,
     someone does.

If you’ve ever wanted someone to devote his life to your happiness,
     someone wants to.

If you’ve ever wanted someone to be afraid of spending one more day without you,
     someone is.

If you’ve ever wanted someone to stare at your picture when you’re gone,
     someone does.

If you’ve ever wanted someone to want to raise children with you,
     someone does.

If you’ve ever wanted someone to talk to God about you,
     someone has.

If you’ve ever wanted someone to dream about you,
     someone does.

If you’ve ever wanted someone to want to spend forever with you,
     someone does.

If you’ve ever wanted someone to need you,
     someone does.

If you’ve ever wanted someone to give you his heart,
     someone wants to.

If you’ve ever wanted someone to love you unconditionally,
     someone does.



I do.

written by t. michael pender  4/18/91

copyright 1991 T. Michael Pender.  All rights reserved.

What If . . . ?

What if I loved you enough

to fly to the sun without wings

to bring you its fire without gloves

to light up your body without end?

What if you loved me enough

to close your eyes without fear

to cross a bridge in your heart

to get to our home before dawn?

What if our love was enough

to take us to worlds not yet touched

to be on our own among all

to create a new life just for us?

What if our love already is enough?

And what if tomorrow

It’s more?

written by t. michael pender  9/24/98
copyright 1998 T. Michael Pender.  All rights reserved.