Rubber Chicken Soup

Rubber Chicken Soup
"Life is funny . . ."
Showing posts with label lucas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lucas. Show all posts

Friday, September 30, 2011

How To Not Notice A "Peacock"

by Thomas M. Pender

Finally, someone saw something in actor Cillian Murphy that I saw from his very first frame in Batman Begins: effeminism.  I may have just invented that word, but it suits Murphy’s role in the tiny film Peacock to a “T.”  He’s never impressed me much with his acting.  He’s tried to be mysterious and foreboding in Batman as well as Red Eye, but to me, he’s always seemed like the scrawny, scared little boy trying to act tough . . . with negative results.

Here, in a film that I’d never heard of before it appeared on a Redbox screen, Murphy plays a small-town citizen in 1930s-esque rural America, who lives a very different kind of private life.  Whenever he steps outside of his house, he is John, a working average Joe with a fedora and a briefcase, but at home, he sometimes becomes Emma.  With a wig, a dress, high heels and some makeup applied to Murphy’s feminine cheekbones and lips, Emma runs the household.  For apparently years, John has resided in this town without anyone ever learning of Emma . . . until one day, when a train car comes off a nearby track and plunges into John/Emma’s yard.  Townsfolk gather to see what the ruckus is about, and a growing crowd of locals see her for the first time.

Not bizarre enough for you?  Get this: one citizen assumes that John has up and married secretly, and the whole town is thrilled for the young couple!  The buzz begins, and not only does everyone in town want to meet the new bride, but a senator decides to use the train accident as his soapbox, and wants John and Emma to host the speech.

Not once, not in one single scene, does one single character in this film seem suspicious of the fact that John and Emma look exactly alike!  Are you kidding me?  All “Emma” had to do was correct the first near-sighted dope who assumed she was John’s wife, and say she was his sister, and at least that would have made some sort of cinematic sense.

Here’s another poser: In ‘30s-esque rural America, exactly how many cross-dressing multiple-personality types do you suppose there were?  And is it possible for friendly everybody-knows-his-neighbors types to never discover that there is a woman living inside a supposed single man’s house over what seems to be many years?  No one saw Emma wash a dish or make an egg in the windowed kitchen?   When the train hits, “she” is outside getting the laundry off the line.  Has she never done this before, or does she only go outside when the entire town is off the streets?  No one even looks at Emma with a “Don’t I know you from someplace?” wince.  Not once.

For a tiny film, the cast is impressive: Susan Sarandon (Thelma & Louise, Dead Man Walking) plays the senator’s wife, who befriends the kitten-shy Emma, Ellen Page (Juno, Inception) is a girl from John’s past (who apparently also never caught him in a dress), and Josh Lucas (A Beautiful Mind, The Lincoln Lawyer) is the local law.  Aside from Page’s obvious Canadian accent, everyone fits rather well into this town.  The direction is decent for this wanna-be Psycho non-thriller, but that one glaringly obvious question overshadowed the entire plot for me.

If you don’t want your cast of characters to know of one particular character’s existence, you keep the secret character out of sight.  If, for some bizarre reason . . . like a train plummets into a yard! . . . the cast does learn of the secret character’s existence, they should probably notice right away that not only does this character look identical to another who happens to live in the same house, but the two are never seen together, and each make constant excuses for where the other one is.

As with many films, two or possibly even one rewrite could have saved a whole lot of disappointment in the logic department.  Then again, if no one in a town of hundreds notices that two characters are identical twins, maybe it’s not so shocking that two Hollywood writers (one of which directed) didn’t notice their huge mistake, either.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Two Hours In Cinematic Sunday School

by Thomas M. Pender

Which is better?  To be beaten over the head with a golf club, or to be beaten over the head with a Bible?

Answer: They both hurt and irritate you.

I don’t have cable, so I missed any and all ad campaigns for the film Seven Days In Utopia.  I don’t know if it’s a big film or a little one in terms of release.  I first saw the title while searching local theatres online for something I hadn’t seen.  Upon investigating, it looked like a decent show to see: the cast is filled with actors I enjoy (Lucas Black of Friday Night Lights and Sling Blade, Robert Duvall of The Godfather, and Kathy Baker of TV’s Picket Fences), and the story seemed harmless, although a bit used: Golfer loses a big match, goes angry-driving through Texas, skids off road, damages car, has to spend a week in a small town no one’s ever heard of, and his life is forever changed for the better.

I could name five or six films that already did this, except for the golfer aspect.  Still, it seemed worth a look.  Sadly, it’s a poorly conceived two-hour sermon that just happens to have a great cast in it.  I checked to make sure this wasn’t a true story, as that would negate my criticisms of the storyline.  It’s fiction, so here are said criticisms of the storyline:

First off, when the very first thing you see on the screen is a Bible passage, you can be sure you’re in for a soul-pokin’!  Then, a golfer who goes driving with no destination (or “no direction” as the Christian uber-message would probably word it) ends up in a town of just over 300 people that happens to have a makeshift golf course in the cemetery?  Puh-leeze!  And the architect of this course happens to be a former golf pro who everybody wonders where he disappeared to?  Puh-leeze times two.  The senior pro convinces the junior pro to stay in town for a week, during which the senior will help the junior “find his game.”  Now, we begin the Karate Kid portion of the movie, where the junior pro is told to perform all manners of crazy seemingly-unrelated chores (catch a fish, paint a picture), but as we know ahead of time, each chore will help him on his path to greatness.

It would have helped my irritation level greatly if the junior pro had simply heard of this crazy golf course, and chose to drive there to see it, to get away from it all.  That’s believable.  But crashing his car across the street from it?  And the mysterious senior pro happens to find him?  I’m already sorry I bought the ticket.

Add to this the anvil-heavy Christian message.  Now, I’ve been a Christian all my life, and I’m proud of it.  I think stories that put Jesus into people’s lives are wonderful, but there is something to be said for subtlety.  Jesus himself told parables, which were cute little non-head-beating stories that led people to understand God’s message.  It wouldn’t have taken much to change the script into a pleasant, featherweight story that got viewers to think about God’s work in our lives.  Instead, the creators went for the Crusades-level teaching style, and lost me altogether.  I don’t think God would want to be an irritant to those He’s trying to win over.

Halfway through the film, I’m hoping it’s a short movie.  Three-quarters through, I’m checking the time.  At the end of the film, when they opt not to show you the end of the story, but instead guide you to a website in order to find out . . . I was livid!  The nerve of some salesmen.  I decided it was my duty (and, admittedly, my revenge upon the filmmakers) to report this on a public weblog, and wave people off from seeing it.
I’ll even go a step further: The golfer wins in the end.  In the meantime, read your Bible if you want to learn about God.  Now, you don’t have to see the movie.  There!  Take that, Seven Days!