Ten Suspected Dorm Food Ingredients

by Thomas M. Pender

Until I lived in the dormitories of Michigan State University, beginning at age 18, it seemed that I could never gain weight, and I loved that.  Once exposed to the food in the dorms, my metabolism seemingly shut down, and my weight snowballed.  These are my prime suspects to that crime.

10)          Lard

9)            Helium

8)            Lard

7)            Steroids (the kind that aim only at the stomach!)

6)            Lard

5)            Starch (straight outta the can)

4)            Lard

3)            Marshmallow filling, by the truckloads

2)            Lard

and

1)            Fix-A-Flat