Ten Popular Fall Rituals

by Thomas M. Pender

10) Late-night raking of leaves into the neighbor’s yard

9) Ignoring of chores . . . and phone . . . and spouse . . . ‘cause football’s on

8) Annual bikinis-for-sweaters drawer-and-closet swap

7) Hyperprogramming of TiVo for new season episodes

6) Earlier commutes for better parking spaces for shorter “brisk walks”

5) Return of the “warming the bed” flop-around

4) Baseball widows’ luncheons and barhops

3) Ignoring of church . . . and sleep . . . and showering . . . ‘cause FOOTBALL’S ON!!!

2) The kids-and-self-ready-for-school-and-work-a-thon

and

1) The immediate beginning of the nine-month wish for summer’s return