Ten Practical Uses For A Cat

by Thomas M. Pender

10)          Pre-deer season moving target practice

9)            Emergency replacement Brillo pad

8)            If you live near a cliff, they are excellent subjects to test Galileo’s theories on gravity, as well as that whole “land on their feet” thing

7)            Live bait for big game fishermen

6)            Your fat, lazy laying-on-the-couch-and-never-moving cat types are great for resting your beverages on while you watch TV, while your constantly-wandering-through-the-house cat types are great for strapping on a two-can saddle and using for delivering said beverages

5)            Bug squasher when the flyswatter is out of reach

4)            Chew toy to toss to large and restless dogs

3)            Alcohol-to-body-weight ratio tests (THESE are hilarious!)

2)            Subject for “World’s Most Dangerous Stunts” re-enactments

and       

1)            Side-by-side study model for proving why dogs are much more awesomer!!!!