Empty Staff

by Thomas M. Pender
 

It's time to kill Music
For crimes against
The Heart
For the rape of Love
And the murder of Faith

We once sang to the Son
And now we play to the Fire
Our melodies were sprung from light
But our tunes now are children of heat
If you scream
They will dance
For while they can still hear
They no longer listen

God gave Music to Man
And Man shared Music with Hell
To create Noise

Our babies know no Beauty
Because they cling the Noise to their ears
They have forgotten how to talk
How to listen
How to feel
How to think

The notes no longer engage the heart
But the gut
Instinct
Drive
Fear and Hate
The light dims as the fire spreads

Start again
With an innocent child
And empty staff
And Love



written by t. michael pender  3/6/97
copyright 1997 T. Michael Pender.  All rights reserved.

Terrific “Horrible”

by Thomas M. Pender

Modern comedies are frankly becoming a contradiction in terms to me.  In the black-and-white heyday of comedies, Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn could banter nonstop for 90 minutes (without uttering one curse word, I might add!) and get me laughing out loud.  Today, the comedy has become an endless litany of unhumorous sexual innuendos and brain-free sight gags with a smattering of drug use.  Incredibly sad.

I had a tiny bit of hope for Horrible Bosses, simply by virtue of the cast.  Headliner Jason Bateman (Hancock, Arrested Development) is grossly underrated and underused.  He does straight man facial humor with the best of ‘em, and earns honest laughter in most of his projects.  Hollywood bigwig Kevin Spacey – a personal favorite of mine dating all the way back to his mind-blowing seven-episode appearance on TV’s Wiseguy in 1988.  He can play heroes, everymen, and villains with equal ease and skill, and in Bosses, Spacey recalls his amazing work in 1994’s Swimming With Sharks as he plays Bateman’s abusive employer.  Jason Sudeikis (The Bounty Hunter, Hall Pass), a Saturday Night Live alum, is fast becoming a favorite of mine.  Jennifer Aniston (Friends and also of The Bounty Hunter) and Colin Farrell (S.W.A.T., Fright Night) add some laughs of their own by stepping out of their comfort zones.  The typical “girl next door” Aniston plays a sexual-harassment predator, and Farrell plays a comic dolt with a bad comb-over.  All these elements came together nicely to become a very enjoyable comedy.

My only low marks on Bosses were on the subject matter.  It’s hard to swallow a comedy about murder.  Yes, it’s been done many times, but to date, murder is not a funny thing.  In one scene, Spacey goes into anaphylactic shock due to a peanut allergy, and one of the would-be murderers goes through several “comedic” attempts to save him.  While it’s customary to park your reason at the door when viewing comedies, I kept thinking about those who actually suffer from these attacks, and it became less funny.  Maybe that was my fault.

In any event, I’m happy to actually recommend a comedy in these barren days of comic blandness and idiocy.  Horrible Bosses, while having a fairly dopey title, will make you laugh.  This is the best review a comedy can receive nowadays!